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tonight my lungs are hanging from a telephone wire [entries|friends|calendar]
it kills me to breathe you in

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[10 May 2006|08:32pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

i don't feel
comfortable in
my own skin
anymore.

i wish i was
beautiful
like the other
girls that the
boys fall for
in just a quick
glance.

one last night.
the bare walls and
emptiness of this room
is like nothing i have
ever felt.



my heart
will stay here.

3 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[20 Apr 2006|02:56am]
[ mood | awake ]

this is the first time in a while that i cannot sleep. my mind seems filled with thoughts yet i can't pinpoint one thing that is causing my insomnia.

the air through my window is cold, but i don't feel cold. the amount of memories i have makes me feel older than i actually am. i miss so many things. photographs remind me of a better life but maybe it wasn't a better life, just a different one.

i feel a little empty looking at all the dark windows outside my own. there is no one awake who shares this pain.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[12 Apr 2006|11:39am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

nostalgia has been getting the best of me lately.

wherever i go, i will always be missing someone.

1 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[26 Mar 2006|12:56am]
[ mood | awake ]

sometimes, i get lonely.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[28 Dec 2005|01:30am]
[ mood | awake ]

i need someone.

not even to have for my own
but just someone
who knows that
i'm here.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[03 Nov 2005|05:57pm]
[ mood | tired ]

i am one for temporary infatuation.


dear autumn,
please never leave.
you are too beautiful for words.


i just love this place.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[06 Aug 2005|12:33am]
[ mood | awake ]

its been a long time.

things have changed.
yet feel the same somehow.
its weird i guess.

i saw the west coast.

but i don't think anything is quite like new york.

i need someone to dye my hair.
i need change.

i want to take a walk.

i wish the summer could rewind and start all over again.


"anyway, patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. when we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped into a vacuum and it was replaced by the song on the tape player. a beautiful song called "landslide." when we got out of the tunnel, sam screamed this really funny scream, and there it was. downtown. lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. sam sat down and started laughing. patrick started laughing. i started laughing. and in that moment, i swear, we were infinite."


i need a thrill.



21 days.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[24 Jan 2005|12:40am]
[ mood | content ]

there was absolutely nobody on the road tonight. i felt like i was in a movie or something. and it was so bright out. it was probably the moon reflecting off the snow but whatever it was, it looked pretty cool.

this week is going to be awesome considering the only test i have is calc on wednesday. i should really start studying even though i'll most likely fail it because i'm retarded in math this year. whatever, i don't care that much. i'm just thinking about all the time off i have.

i can't believe everyone will know where they're going to school in just over 3 months. and we'll be leaving in about 7. time is flying by, really it is. i have to admit, senior year is better than i expected it to be and i hope it will only get better from here.

they really need to post the skate and surf lineup already. i think everyone's tired of waiting.

i'm lonely. i usually have someone to talk to at this time of night but tonight, i don't. i should probably just suck it up and go to bed.

and so i will.

screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[12 Jan 2005|06:00pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

i am so done with high school.


You scored as Loner.

</td>

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

31%

Punk/Rebel

31%

Loner

31%

Stoner

31%

Drama nerd

25%

Goth

19%

Geek

13%

Ghetto gangsta

13%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com
screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[06 Jan 2005|11:30am]
[ mood | happy ]

snow days are wonderful. i'm gonna miss those next year.


In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Become an online stalker.

Get your resolution here





i've already got that one nailed! haha


Your College Life by highfivejunkie
Username
What will you study?
Your Roomatefreakycake
The Football Playerxdjkonartisx
The Cheerleaderxmadattheworldx
The Band Geekcertaintragedyx
Highly involved in their Frat/Sororitytrackilicous
The Crazy Drunka_lost_hope
The College Slutamericanxmoney
Your Significant Otherjaguar660
The Creep that sneaks into girl's showersportuguesepimp
Likeliness you'll graduate: 90%
Quiz created with MemeGen!
8 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[01 Jan 2005|06:57pm]
[ mood | tired ]

new years. what a fucking night.

i wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way.

hot damn.



and this is just the beginning...

2 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[12 Dec 2004|01:46am]
[ mood | happy ]

tonight was...bliss. yes i think that's what you'd call it.

right now, i am happy. i don't want to go to sleep. i don't want anything to change.

i got all my christmas shopping done- with money left to spare!

skate and surf this year is going to be amazing. i'm looking forward to it already.

maybe i should try and get some sleep now. or not.

goodnight.

love x 10.

2 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[27 Nov 2004|01:25am]
[ mood | lonely ]

      
radiohead is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator



gosh yes.

today got me excited for christmas.

i don't get sleep anymore.

asdkjadsf
6 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[24 Nov 2004|06:39pm]
[ mood | blah ]

it's been a month since i've updated.

in that month, not too much has changed.

senior dinner was last night. moses and karen won superlatives (congrats!). me and becky didnt (feel bad for us please) i actually danced a little. shocker huh?

things could be better at the moment, but i'm happy.

today wasnt too great. i was lonely and still am.

the garden state soundtrack has been getting me by lately.

blah.

i hope this weekend is good times.

i can't wait for the basement on new years.

i need to see death cab again.

i definitely failed my math test today. i couldn't concentrate. and i don't give a shit. i don't really care about doing well in school anymore. oh well.

i can't wait until college. but i'm going to miss a lot of people. i'll miss people that won't even know i'm missing them.


my new icon means you have to love me.



<3

14 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[25 Oct 2004|05:33pm]
[ mood | calm ]

there is nothing quite as beautiful as autumn.

tonight i realized how much i love to write.

i am dying to see From Autumn to Ashes, the Blood Brothers, Poison the Well and Folly on December 17th. that show’s gonna to be off the hook.

i wanna do something really awesome for halloween. i love times like halloween. it makes me feel like i’m a kid again. and i love feeling like i’m still a kid.

*Friday night, I went to heaven. you might not have a clue of what i’m talking about, but if you saw Death Cab for Cutie live on stage, closed your eyes, and let the music run through your body like your own blood, you would understand. if only I could feel the way I felt that night right now. but i can’t. i would give anything to have that feeling back. it was pure bliss.




So one last touch and then you’ll go. And we’ll pretend that it meant something so much more…

2 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[08 Oct 2004|05:09pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

yikes, i havent updated in about a year.

life is good. really, it is.

senior year is going good. the best part is that it's flying by. i still don't really feel like a senior. i don't know if i'm ready to go off to college but i sure as hell am ready to get but of this high school. i'm sick of feeling like i go to prison every time i drag myself to go to school in the morning. all the people that work there are such assholes.

today was the easiest day ever. it was a senior cut day but i was retarded and went to school but we didnt do anything in any of my classes so it was all good. i was out at 12:30 anyway and then went to beckys and got my fix of ali g.

i have lots of stuff to look forward to. my brother and his best friend are gonna be here in like an hour and then monday, i think i'm going to visit cortland. next weekend is homecoming and the weekend after that is death cab and pretty girls <333

i wanna go see glassjaw/thursday on december 26th along with the world and their mothers. i dont care, i just to see glassjaw again. there's nothing like closing your eyes while singing to siberian kiss in the middle of a crowd of people. that is my heaven.

i'm on a crazy smashing pumpkins hit.

sats tomorrow morning. this is my last chance to turn my life around. wish me lots and lots of luck.

4 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[19 Sep 2004|05:04pm]
[ mood | sick ]

let's see. this weekend has been: awesome, strange, funny, depressing, and crazy. all of those things, simultaneously.

thursday night at joe's was really good times. met some new people, chilled, and had some really good laughs. went to bed at 4 and woke up at 8, with a headache and a sore throat. that sucked. but it was all worth it.

mike's house was fun times also. met some more new people and just hung out with everyone. it sucks i couldn't stay over but at least i got some decent sleep.

resident evil was definitely not worth seeing. good thing we didn't pay for it anyways. definitely not recommended.

overall, this weekend was a lot of fun. i'm especially glad i met everyone that i did. i love meeting new people.

this fall weather never ceases to make me smile. i cannot wait to go apple picking.

i think someone got me sick cause i don't feel very well :(

5 days of school this week. blah.



p.s. 9 days until eternal sunshine comes out on dvd!

2 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[13 Sep 2004|05:54pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

this past weekend was alright. hung out with a bunch of people, finally saw pi and watched lost in translation for like the 10th time. that movie makes me happy. yesterday was the olives show. this gun for hire played. that's fucking music.

school isn't so bad after all. i guess it changes from day to day. the year is flying by already. college will be here before we know it.

the fall weather is so lovely. i wait all year for it.

i can't wait until the sat's are over. october 9th will definitely be a day of celebration.

i wanna see garden state for the...third time. i just want to watch that movie over and over again. god, i wish there were more movies like that.

this upcoming weekend is going to be awesome. i can't wait to have some great times with people i love.



september 29th- dilinger escape plan and everytime i die at the starland ballroom. who's in?

12 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[06 Sep 2004|10:30pm]
[ mood | sad ]

so the summer is officially over.

it's sad. really, it is. i'm going to miss a lot of things. trips to rye playland, free fireworks, playing in the park after midnight, getting late night food at the gas station, watching/quoting ali g, sneaking into movies, karaoke, going to the drive-in movie theatre, parties/sleepovers at houses with no parents, late-night diner runs, rocking out to ashlee simpson at work (fucking wayne!), hanging out with hockey boys until 3 am. good times.

tonight was definitely a great way to end it though. being with everyone, reminiscing on old times and when we all met. and how at one point, some of us didn't even like each other.

it's sad to think everything is going to change sooner than we think. i hope this year flies, but then again i don't. it's going to be really hard for me to say goodbye.

fuck. i'm sick to my stomach thinking about school tomorrow.

anyone wanna save me?

<3

6 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

[30 Aug 2004|10:36pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

today my life sucked.

i stood in the rain for most of the afternoon moving my brother into his dorm in delaware. not fun. we didn't end up getting home until 9:30 and by then, everyone was out having the time of their lives and i was stuck at home. not fun, once again. i wish i had stayed home instead. oh well.

one perk. i heard about a blood brothers show at the bowery ballroom at the end of october and think i just might have to go. someones gonna come all the way from florida to go with me :)

i'm sleepy.

:/

2 screaming disbelief with no faith in site

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